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Wednesday 25 November 2015

Laws of Attraction: Learn to Tell Stories

Short stories are the key to engaging your audience . . . and your first date.
Have you ever watched the guests on late night talk shows? Whether it is a political figure, a silver screen sweetheart pushing her latest movie or one of your favorite singers, each guest has a story to tell their audience and host.

 The stories are usually some odd event that happened on the way to the studio, their most recent shopping adventure or the awkward airplane moment. In their brief few minutes on the stage, the guest pulls in the studio audience and those watching from the comforts of their recliners by giving them a glimpse of their day and of their humour.

Short stories are the key to engaging your audience . . . and your first date.

Human beings have been bonding over stories since developing the means to communicate. It's how you present your world, what is going on and shows your vulnerable side.

 The key is to have a few good stories waiting or at least prepared for your first date. The ones that are positive, emotional or informative are the best ones. How did you get your job? Why did you move to this town after college? How did you get involved in your favorite hobby? What exciting thing happened today?

The organization and layering of the story is what helps to establish the bond between you and your date (audience). It's sharing a bit of you or your day that creates intimacy. Think about it. When you barely know someone and they ask about your day, you might say "fine" or "busy." But when it is a close friend who inquires about the status of your day, you reveal a bit more. You may be willing to go in-depth about the current project or latest interaction with your boss.

 Think of at least one good story about you that shows a bit of who you are before your next first date. It may be the most attractive thing you do.

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Wednesday 18 November 2015

Kindness is Key on First Dates

Ideally, it would be fantastic if every relationship, partnership or office interaction left people better off in life. It would be great if every encounter boosted our spirits, increased our confidence and put a smile on our face.

The truth of it is, life rarely works the way we want it to and not all encounters serve to bring out the best in us. Dating can leave you feeling vulnerable and fragile. Our self esteem may take a hit or a personality clash leaves us wondering if we are in fact unlovable.

In a recent It's Just Lunch survey, the majority of respondents said kindness is the most important character trait in a partner. So, how do you inject a tidbit of kindness into your next date? Here are a few ideas:

Be on Time
Nobody wants to be left wondering if their date is going to show at a coffee shop or restaurant. One minute feels like an hour when your nerves are tight and your stomach in knots. If you are going to be even five minutes late, let them know as soon as possible.

Be a Great Listener
Not listening and talking too much often go hand in hand. Tit's really important to listen to the other person, and that doesn't mean just letting them get a word in edgewise. Your aim is to learn about your date. Ask questions and listen to their answers. Ask follow up questions to what they just said. By listening to your date, you are being attentive and that is hands down sexy.

Be Generous With Compliments
Like you, your date is a bundle of nerves. They prepared for this date from picking out the outfit, mentally going over conversation topics and even reading blogs regarding first date tips. A simple compliment can brighten their day and eliminate some of the nerves. Make it a habit to give a genuine compliment to your date.

Say Goodnight -- Gracefully
Don't tell the other person you are going to call or that you are looking forward to a second date if that is not your intention.  There is nothing worse than waiting around for someone to call. It's better to say nothing than to lead someone on. Be honest, but not brutally so.

In the end, it comes down to the Golden Rule. Treat others as you want to be treated. Remember that, and you are well on your way to a great date.

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Show It's Just Lunch Your Movember 'Stache for a Discount
In honour of Movember, we would love to see your 'stache! Any man with a moustache who joins It's Just Lunch Toronto during the month of November gets $200 off a one-year membership. PLUS, IJL will match $200 with a donation to the Movember Foundation.
For more details, contact us at 1-800-941-1088.

Thursday 12 November 2015

Everyone Loves a Sense of Humour; But It's Tricky

Sense of Humour Dating Traits Toronto Singles
One of the most popular personality traits people claim to be searching for is a sense of humour. My clients usually tell me that their dream guy or gal is someone who can make them laugh.

We are all attracted, in love and friendship, to the people who lift our moods, give a spring in our step and help shine the light on the brighter side of life. They make us feel good and it feels good to be with them.

Laughter has a way of bringing us together. It forges bonds among family and friends. It is the main ingredient for any gathering.

But everyone's sense of humour is a bit different. Some people use laughter and one-liners to deflect from serious issues. They resist sharing stories of substance, preferring to hear your laughter over your opinion or thoughts.

One of my clients mentioned that she didn't get a good read on her date for she felt he was delivering one-liners. She didn't feel she heard one authentic statement from her date the entire evening.

For some, the use of humour is a way to calm the nerves on a first date. For others, it is a way of coping with life.

The easiest way to tell the difference is whether or not you feel like you are an audience of one at a comedy club, as in the case of my client. If you are unable to have a discussion where he or she isn't trying to tickle your funny bone, then maybe that isn't the right person for you.

Another warning sign about humour is how it is used. There's a difference between seeing something in an unexpected way and making fun of someone or something. The latter can be detrimental to a relationship in the long run.

While laughter is attractive and builds camaraderie, it can also build a wall between two people trying to connect.

How do you feel about humour and dating? Do you have any stories to share? We would love to hear them in the comments section! For more information on dating, visit our website at itsjustlunchtoronto.com