Open Yourself Up to Intention: How to Find Love When You're Not Looking

Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine who grew tired of the dating scene. Her and three friends were traveling in a pack, visiting bars or attending events that held false promises of her finding her match. It got to the point that she felt like dating was draining her energy and the bonding out of her friendships.

It was at this frustrating point that my friend decided she needed to invest in something other than happy hour Mai Tais at the local singles scene. She wanted to go hiking in California and scuba diving in Belize. She wanted time to read her favorite books or try recipes her mother was fond of sending her every week. She wanted to find someone who was more in line with her lifestyle than syncing up happy hour with their schedule.

So, she laced up her hiking boots. She plugged in her blender. But most of all, she invested in herself. As fate would have it, my friend met her future husband during that diving trip to Belize.

It has a lot to do with your INTENTION. The moment you become open and accessible to meeting new people, miraculously, potential dates begin to materialize all over the place -- often when you least expect it. Even in Belize.

Every time you get out of the house and meet someone new, it sets off a domino effect that generates new opportunities. Open yourself up to intention.

Read More

Create a Ripple Effect to Make Waves in Your Dating Life

We all know that dating is a numbers game and the more you get out and into the mix, the likelier it is you will cross paths with Mr. or Mrs. The One. It's also smart to talk to anyone, anywhere, even if that person doesn't seem to be your type.

In short, if you throw a pebble into the dating pool, it can have a significant ripple effect that is sure to benefit your status.

A 30-year-old female friend of mine recently met a 60-year-old woman at an art exhibit. Even though the older woman was twice her age, the two ladies found they had many things in common, including their taste in art. The woman later introduced our friend to her nephew and  . . . the rest is history.

Having a genuine interest in getting to know new people and keeping an open mind while you're networking might end up being more valuable than you think. You never know who that person might introduce you to in the future.

Reconsider that party invite before declining. Stay a few extra minutes at that after-work cocktail mixer. Seek like-minded people who can introduce you to colleagues of a similar quality. Expanding your network will ensure a rich life with opportunities and happy times.

Read More

Single & Available? Share It With Your Friends

Many people know exactly what they want from their careers and have a clearly defined set of goals. They aren't afraid to approach the bossman for a promotion or when they are seeking new challenges to expand their skill set. They create vision boards (even if they are only in the minds) of where they want to be in five years.

But when it comes to finding a partner, so many of us leave it to chance. What? If you want to turn your dating life around, you're going to have to invest a bit of time and effort.

The first and the easiest step is to tell people in your circle that you are on the market and looking for that special someone. Tell friends, coworkers, hairdressers and even the neighbors. Spread the word.

I'm not telling you to make a big deal of it or that your single status should be the only thing you discuss. Bring it up casually in the conversation. Don't shy away from the topic.

If you keep it secret, chances are they won't think of you when someone else less shy brings it up in conversation.

We're not peacocks with plumes and special mating dances to know when we are available. So, throw it out there into the winds and see how fate will bring it back to you.

Read More

Refile Your Relationships to Find Love

"That's my neighbor, John."
"Rita? Just a girl from work."
"He's just a friend."

It's human nature for us to label, categorize and slot people into narrowly defined files within our mental relationship Rolodex.

Case in point: Actress Cameron Diaz and her current beau, Good Charlotte founder and member Benji Madden, have been friends since the 41-year-old actress was dating Justin Timberlake. The two of them have only recently started dating after they realized they may have more in common than just their circle of friends.

Just because someone falls into one grouping doesn't mean a relationship cannot be built. A guy can bust free of the Friend Box to enter the Potential Partner dating rink.

In fact, these types of relationships can be beneficial and more stable in many ways. There is a deeper connection via common ground from the other areas of your life.

There's a magic in knowing that someone just gets you.A former friend or co-worker may understand you in ways you never thought, giving you a more solid foundation during the awkward dating process.  

In short, don't be afraid to refile your neighbor, office mate or that friend of a friend you met at last year's Canada Day barbecue. It may be the best thing you do.

Read More

Why a Second Chance May Be Your Key to Finding True Love

I'm not going to lie. The end of a date can be a bit awkward. Do you offer them your card and leave the ball in their court? Do you ask for a second date? Do you thank your date for an awesome lunch (brunch, coffee, whatever) and leave it at that? Well, its a bit tricky and it comes down to instincts.

At this point of the date, you are in one of three places:

1) Elation: You're excited and want to see them again!
2) Not feeling it: You're convinced this person is not your match.
3) Uncertainty: Perhaps it wasn't idea, but you don't feel the urge to run away as soon as the tab is paid.

While it is clear that you should ask for a second date with the first one, perhaps you should consider tossing your hat in the ring for another round with 2 and 3.  In short, before you press the built-in rejection button, remember that you only need to determine whether you want to see them again. That's it.

While first impressions are important and your time is precious, there is a point to giving someone a second chance. A lot of people suffer from first-date jitters. In fact, fear is the number one cause for first-date disasters and often leads to over-talking or out of character shyness. Some people may show up for the encounter with residue from their day lingering in their mind. In short, their true self may not be at the first date.

Before leaving it at "Thank you. Good luck," there are two areas where you should check in with yourself.  The first is compatibility. Do you have anything in common? Enjoy the same hobby, perhaps? The second involves a quick check with your instincts. Ask yourself how they make you feel or how they treat you.  Trust your instincts. You'll be surprised how perceptive you are.

An instinctive gut feeling can draw you to Mr. or Mrs. Right even if they don't match all your criteria on paper. You probably have friends who are with partners who you never thought they'd be with.

I usually recommend two or three dates before you rule someone out completely.  By the third date, you will have enough data to make a solid assessment about the other person and their future role in your life -- even if it is nothing other than friends.

Regardless, it's important to be straightforward, however you feel about the other person. Tell them if you are interested in seeing them again or not. Most people will appreciate it when you speak your mind. Don't make false promises about what may come next if you're not into them.

Read More